As another Thanksgiving holiday passes by, perhaps it is time to reflect on what ‘thankfulness’ has done in our lives. It begs the question of whether it was a fleeting moment of receiving love and affirmation from friends and family as they gathered around a spread of food normally seen only once a year. Or if it continues to transform us in a lasting appreciation for the love of family and friends and how they have shaped our lives.
Perhaps another way of looking at thankfulness the day after is to ask ourselves if it was more about receiving or more about giving thanks. When one lives in a country that provides an almost unlimited supply of opportunity and resources, it is easy to become addicted to receiving and anemic to giving. We enjoy the abundance of a day with seemingly unending dishes of food and limitless drink only to fall into a tryptophan coma from overeating and drinking and wake up to the same desire for more.
The difference between reward and joy may help us better understand our insatiable desire for more, only to feel as though it is never enough. “When we achieve a high grade on a test, are selected for advancement or promotion, or receive a bonus, our brains respond by releasing dopamine, and we relish in the motivational salience of the reward. Unfortunately, the dopamine feeling diminishes soon after the reward has been received, and we are left wanting more. Biologically, the subsequent desire—or craving—is often greater than the original boost!”[i]
“On the other hand, when we find joy in what we do, our behavior is a reward in itself. Our brains release serotonin and dopamine, and both provide long-term satisfaction contributing to well-being and happiness. This true sense of satisfaction is constantly reinforced as we continue doing what we find joy in doing.”[ii] Thus, by continually giving thanks for life’s blessings and sincerely sharing those thanks with others, we sustain a lasting, and perhaps transformational feeling of joy from a gathering such as Thanksgiving.
We realize that ‘giving’ thanks is much more critical than ‘receiving’ thanks, and we seek opportunities to do so for the well-being of others and our well-being. In a world that suggests “get all you can get,” perhaps we should refocus our desires to “give all you can give.” By doing so, we can live in a daily state of ‘Thanksgiving’ and indeed find joy along the way.
[i] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[ii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI