“It has been said that our reputation is how others view us, and our character is who we really are.”[i] The chances are that if you haven’t succeeded in realizing your New Year’s resolutions in the past, it may be because you are resolving to change your reputation and not your character. How do those that know you best “characterize” you? “When we think of character, we typically think of virtues like faithfulness, moderation, self-control, respectability, hospitality, and trustworthiness.”[ii] These virtues come from the bible, but you can easily Google “virtues” and see lists of the top 100.
The point of the “virtue-discussion” is that character can be defined “as a set of virtues that are universally accepted as being essential to well-being and excellence.”[iii] In other words, when we characterize others, we assess their “well-being and excellence.” As we reflect on 2021, how would we “asses our well-being and excellence?” Did we let COVID influence our waste-bands, political opinions, attitudes toward others, and general well-being? What would those closest to us say?”
This year my resolutions will be focused on character. Specifically (for me) the virtues of Patience, Persistence, and Temperance. I could shed a few pounds, and there is no doubt that COVID (and the politics of it all) has tainted my views and who I was in 2021. To get out of this 2021 “rut,” I will need to adjust the habits of my heart, mind, and behavior. By staying calm and not getting annoyed when those with different views share their opinions, I can change my attitude toward others and perhaps even grow in my understanding. I need more patience.
By creating new habits of what I eat, drink, and spend my time with, I can shed those unneeded pounds, increase my physical fitness and mental well-being. I need more Perseverance and Temperance. You see, I’m tired of setting New Year’s resolutions only to end up at the end of the New Year, the same place I resolved not to be at the end of the Past Year. I need to work harder on who I am (my character) to realize a healthy physical, mental, and spiritual well-being and 2022 excellence! What virtues will you resolve to try on for 2022 to change your life?
[i] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[ii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[iii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
As another Thanksgiving holiday passes by, perhaps it is time to reflect on what ‘thankfulness’ has done in our lives. It begs the question of whether it was a fleeting moment of receiving love and affirmation from friends and family as they gathered around a spread of food normally seen only once a year. Or if it continues to transform us in a lasting appreciation for the love of family and friends and how they have shaped our lives.
Perhaps another way of looking at thankfulness the day after is to ask ourselves if it was more about receiving or more about giving thanks. When one lives in a country that provides an almost unlimited supply of opportunity and resources, it is easy to become addicted to receiving and anemic to giving. We enjoy the abundance of a day with seemingly unending dishes of food and limitless drink only to fall into a tryptophan coma from overeating and drinking and wake up to the same desire for more.
The difference between reward and joy may help us better understand our insatiable desire for more, only to feel as though it is never enough. “When we achieve a high grade on a test, are selected for advancement or promotion, or receive a bonus, our brains respond by releasing dopamine, and we relish in the motivational salience of the reward. Unfortunately, the dopamine feeling diminishes soon after the reward has been received, and we are left wanting more. Biologically, the subsequent desire—or craving—is often greater than the original boost!”[i]
“On the other hand, when we find joy in what we do, our behavior is a reward in itself. Our brains release serotonin and dopamine, and both provide long-term satisfaction contributing to well-being and happiness. This true sense of satisfaction is constantly reinforced as we continue doing what we find joy in doing.”[ii] Thus, by continually giving thanks for life’s blessings and sincerely sharing those thanks with others, we sustain a lasting, and perhaps transformational feeling of joy from a gathering such as Thanksgiving.
We realize that ‘giving’ thanks is much more critical than ‘receiving’ thanks, and we seek opportunities to do so for the well-being of others and our well-being. In a world that suggests “get all you can get,” perhaps we should refocus our desires to “give all you can give.” By doing so, we can live in a daily state of ‘Thanksgiving’ and indeed find joy along the way.
[i] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[ii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
We are often reminded during times of crisis of those things that are truly important in our lives. Whether the situation is a fire, flood, earthquake, hurricane, or even the COVID 19 pandemic, each of these scenarios causes us to reflect on the things that really matter in our lives: family and relationships.
The everyday “hustle and bustle” of life seems even more pronounced during our current crisis as social gatherings, or even family gatherings for that matter, are more complex and problematic. It would be readily understood that our present circumstances are anything but enjoyable.
The reality of it may be that we have lost the passion for pursuing joy. Face-to-face interactions that encompass transparent and real conversations are often replaced with Snapchat depictions of how we “desire” to be perceived without ever having to go “below the surface” to what our lives are really like.
As social creatures, we long for human interactions that provide us with the affirmation and security we need to function as human beings.[i] Without these interactions, we are left feeling lonely and isolated, which has become all too frequent in our social media-addicted culture. This longing can only be filled in relationships with others who need it just as much as we do. The challenge is that these relationships must be pursued and need time to develop.
The counterintuitive part of taking the time to develop genuine relationships is that when we do, the joy derived from the affirmation and security byproducts of the relationship creates a desire to spend more time growing the relationship. By deliberately taking the time to invest in relationships through transparent communication, our expectations can be realized, and we will experience the joy we naturally seek.
The time is ripe for leaders to ‘dare to be different’ and model real social interaction with their followers and colleagues. Those who do will thrive as they discover unleashed creativity and ingenuity from those, they are privileged to lead.[ii]
[i] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[ii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
It is almost impossible to walk by a small business in any city in the United States and not see a sign in the window for “Help Wanted.” In fact, large and small businesses alike seem to be at a deficit for finding and retaining employees. Even more concerning is a 2019 Retention Report from the Work Institute suggesting that 27% of employees voluntarily left their jobs in 2018 and predicted that, if this trend continued, it would be 35% by 2023![i] This report doesn’t reflect the current COVID-19 world where the government pays people to stay home, a supply chain that appears to be broken, and able-body workers who are let go because they refuse to get the vaccine.
One would wonder what the employment numbers really look like today and whether 35% of employees leaving their current jobs at the end of 2021 might be optimistic. Regardless of the challenging situation this pandemic has brought about, employers must reflectively ask themselves if their employment opportunities are attractive enough to invite prospective candidates and fruitful enough to retain them. Minimum wage, or quite frankly, wages alone, will not satisfy either of these questions.
Assumptions of the past about employees as “commodities” that are just looking for a paycheck and if they don’t like the job or wages, there are lots of others that will, are no longer applicable. Employees need to be considered valuable to the organization, and the organization must be committed to their development and growth. The Millennial generation is rapidly becoming the largest demographic in the workforce, and they wish to participate in decisions on general aspects of their organization. In other words, they want to feel as though they are making a difference![ii]
With a focus on team play and motivation, millennials place a higher value on affirmation, confidence building, and knowledge than previous generations.[iii] Given this information, the key to attracting and retaining employees may be to understand who they are, what is important to them, making them feel a part of the team, and helping them grow personally and professionally. By investing in the development of mutually accountable relationships between supervisor and employee, organizations can address these attraction and retention challenges and will thrive in this new environment while those that repeat expectations from the past will at best survive.
[i] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[ii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI
[iii] Phillips, R. (2021). Finding Joy in Leadership: By Developing Trust You Can Count On. BDI